Pei-Ru's Thought Bubbles (and photos)

Inspiration

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift."

-Albert Einstein

The most magical part of a creative process has to be the moment when inspiration arrives. Any creator needs the inspiration but where does it come from? There are two ways of looking at the acquisition of this divine, let's say, click. Some say, someone out there has the all the power and inspiration and it takes a believer to be able to receive the offering. We are the deliver of God's will and the beautiful designs. Mondrian once said that, artist is a very humble position and basically, he is only the channel. Others say, the inspiration is within us. We are born with the Nature within us and it takes a meditated and clear mind to be able to hear its voice. In the Alchemist, it speaks of the inner voice as the ultimate guidance, and when one trusts himself and follows the voice in ones heart, the world will assist you to reach your ultimate destiny and creation.

Either way, it seems that the most important requirement for both paths is that one needs to be a believer and a patient listener. The inspiration, the answer, and the truth is there at ones finger tip. Listen to your heart, people say, is exactly this, I think.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

I depart for Thailand in 3 days... Haha.. I get excited just writing the word, "Thailand." It is a place also called the "Land of Smiles." How does a country obtain that kind of charm while it competes viciously in the world economy, go through the tsunami, being rampaged by masses of tourists unappreciative of its culture, religion and peace? Is it because of its 95% devout Buddist or is it in their gene? They will always smile at you and take you in as long as you can say sawadiika and love the peanut sauce. In China, it is hard for a tall, blonde, white guy to be accepted as a Chinese even if he learns all the Chinese and knows its history. But anyone can be Thai. Maybe I am biased but I kind of prefer thinking that way anyways. Come with me to my village and you'll know what I'm talking about.

I'll be far far away from internet so this blog will be quite quiet for a while till 7/16. I hope everyone is enjoying their summer and leave me a comment or messages if you aren't busy!

Helllo!

Ladies and Gentilman,

May I introduce... KUBI!

Birthday: May 3rd, 2006
Adopted date: June 25, 2006
Type: The only son (the only child, even!!). Stray.

.... I still can't believe that I have a dog!

In Between

Feeling okay to be in between. I went to Thailand to teach English at a little village called Pah Leurat in 2002. It was a move purely based on a feeling, you were just meant to do it. A small duffle bag carried my few clothes, photos of friends and family, and huge of space for my new experience that is going to fill my life.
My days were consisted of, biking to school while stopping frequently to say hi to parents of my students, teaching till noon, lesson planning, swimming in the river with the kids after they got out of class, opening the library and reading with the kids, trying to learn bamboo braiding with an old grandma... I love the village, the people, my job, and most of all, I was truly happy for the first time. I was someone else I never knew I could be. All my life, I've been living for other people, and this is the first time I realized what I really want. I love living a simple life and most of all, giving what little but all that I have. I changed. Fast-forward to the day I was leaving Pah Leurat... I called my mother to inform her my thinking of staying in the village forever and not go back to school, and of course, that was quickly shut down and I didn't stay. I said goodbye to the kids and cry like a baby with them.. As I sat in the back of the truck and watch the light of the village fade into darkness, I knew I was leaving some place almost magical and leaving behind a little part of me.

It has been years since my first trip to Thailand and all this time has not been easy. It is not because I miss Thailand, which I do, but because I am having a hard time trying to be whom I was when I was there. I find it difficult to always be kind to people when many are constantly playing tricks, lying, manipulating... Sometimes I find it hard to abstain from material and greed... Sometimes I don't have an open heart and I can't let go of things, forgetting that, really, we don't own anything and the only thing constant is change... I even put aside doing what I truly love, working with kid, often, to chase all the things our society calls good... socialization, successful future... blah blah blah... Caught in a social system. None of these things are really bad, parse... but they are not what make me happy.... Knowing that, I still can't live the way I wish I did... And sometimes I call myself a hypocrite... I get depressed...

Few days ago, though, I had this discussion with Mom and I began to see my issue with a lighter heart. What good does it do when I beat myself up for spending money, indulging myself, getting confused? None. It was easier in Thailand... but this is my life, a life that is full of temptations and I am no saint. The important thing is that I am already extremely fortunate to have found out what I truly love. I appreciate the life of simplicity and I am grateful. As long as I stay on the right track, one day I want to be building a successful non-profit organization to work on education and on spreading the kind of love and happiness I found in Thailand, I should be happy already. Have an open and light heart. :P It is okay to enjoy a piece of mud pie or wear a dress I love. This is my Middle Path... My way of staying happy in between... It is okay to be in between.

What is your middle path?

Thanks for Hanging around

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Good health is one funny matter. It usually hangs around when you need it; it helps you get through nights of fun and Long Island ice-teas. It helps you when you need to finish an essay or anything your heart desires, rather. One expects it and often forgets that it is not a guarantee. Like parents, like love, people forget that health also needs nourishment and care. It is usually quite patient with your abuse and neglect... but the day when it is gone... Without it, even rainbows look gray and your dreams seem planets away.

After going to hospitals after hospitals for days, seeing people who couldn't stand themselves up, who couldn't see the beauty in the world around us, who couldn't go after their dreams... I feel soo lucky that I'm walking, breathing, laughing. Even the minor pains I tend to over-complain are reminders for what good health I already have; and I'm grateful.

My Brother is a God

So I found out today that my brother is a God... Okay, maybe he is not a real one but at least there is a HUGE picture of him in front of Sun Yat-Sen Memorial Hall (Our founding president). Haha, it was pretty cool. It was a magazine company who took the photo and did an interview on him. He was an example of how, if you have a dream and believe in yourself, you will have the power to make it come true.

Have a dream. "Those few crazy dreamers who are naive enough to believe they can change the world, are often crazy enough to do so."

Simple as this...

I MISS MY FRIENDS!!!!!!

Going back

Just returned to Taiwan after spending 4 days in Kyoto, Japan. It fascinates me that there are still places where you can trace its history, years of conflicts, artistic expressions and heroic stories, as if time was in love with the place and decided to stay still. Kyoto has modernized with Japan's economic bloom; like any other major city, it has department stores filled with famous brand names, fast-paced businessmen, and Starbucks that pumps high dosage of caffeine that leads to the city's sleepless nights. Nonetheless, Kyoto's past not only remained, but also revived, as Japanese people recognize it as a quintessential part of their character and what makes them who they are today.
The Samrai spirit, Buddhist and Shinto worship, Kimono and the art of Omocha is not just a part of a beloved Japanese history, it is still today's culture. Perhaps that is why, the bronze sandals that is supposed to bring good luck if you rub them with your fingers is shinny from the constant flow of worshipers to Kiomitsu Tera (Clear Water Temple). Perhaps that is why, the formal wear in Japan is still kimono and Japanese girls look gorgeous in their lily print costume and ornate flower hair pins, walking with grace and pride. Perhaps that is why, you see people bowing grave respect to the monks for living a life that is seen as desirable but simply difficult to commit. Perhaps that is why flowers are freshened daily in front of the Buddah statues. I found Japanese people's love for their culture a beauty and a sense of appreciation.

To my fellow Chinese people... As we built the world's tallest building and continue our march to be a major world economic player, please don't forget our five thousands years of culture; because, if we lose it now, we lose it forever.

Hello, again.

Much of my life involves going to new places, making new friends, having a blast, then having to say good-bye soon after. These goodbyes are often accompanied by tears; sadly, I haven't gotten better at it. Really, I shouldn't complain and it is quite exotic to have friends all over the world, but sometimes, I wish, they could stay around in my life. I see the stages of my life not separated by birthdays or accomplishments, but by the people and memories I have with them.
Memories such as sitting on the railing, which overlooks the valley and mountains with 郁婷and揚昕 everyday at my elementary school. Writing mad poetry with Eileen during study hours the night before our math exam in middle school. Talking to Andrew for hours in the playground at Fay and my first 25 people snow fight. Meeting Piper for the first time through the fence on our balconies at Cate. Meeting Tae over the sandwich bar when I got busted for trying to pour ketchup all over my sandwich. Meeting Nam Whan for the first time in Thailand and realizing what is happiness. Whip-cream fight at WA's house and the months when we thought we barely knew each others. First 3 weeks of Stanford with Christian and our numerous adventures in SF. The last 5 weeks of Stanford with Sara and the night of fountain hopping. Working like a slave with Matthew at Cate. My friends and the day when we spung ourselves in the costly laundry machines at Oxford. My crazy roommates in Italy, our tiny kitchen, morning Nutella, and our many adventures in Europe. The absolute excitement when I heard that WA couldn't go on NOLS because she is allergic to bees and the month filled with discoveries that I got to spend with my amazing friend in Thailand and Taiwan, and yes... that day when I got food poisoning, thanks for saving my life, Arrington. People at the rehab center and little Stefan, who became my friend after months of therapy on his symptoms of autism. (Stefan, how does a lion sound? "Roar" How does a hippo sound? "burooburoo." Why is it? "Because they are in water." Spending a hot summer month with Christian and Joyce in China. Even my memory at Williams was broken up into stages as I met new friends and did something crazy with them. Haha... something crazy.

Sometimes, I'm lucky and I get to reconnect with old friends. Often, the lost time disappears as if we were never apart, and they help me make sense of my life. The few weeks before I got back to Taiwan in this summer was exactly the case. It's like... you had a great time with someone and that stage of your life was marked by such experience, but time may have washed away or diluted the memory, you may have forgotten exactly how it felt with you were with him/her, and other people or activities have taken over your thoughts and priority. Then, when you are fortunate and get to reconnect with that person, it's as if the memories between you two were renewed with greater intensity and greater clarity. It feels as if that person has not been so far away from you, he/she has never left your life and the relationship is even more precious then ever.

I was SO excited when Joe and Geraldine invited me to Clarissa's wedding to be their wedding photographer. G's family knew me since I was in elementary school. Back then, I was skinny, had straight long hair without bangs, and really quite shy. I spent hours at TAS learning English, or more like playing, with G, and hours at their house drawing with Baobi and tickling Romi. Having the chance to be part of their family again was amazing. I felt like a little girl again and they are such an open family that I felt like I could sprawl on the floor and burp till my heart contents. (I didn't really do that though, but I think I really could if I needed to) They showed me how there is no need to hide one's shortcomings or faults (not like they have any, except being last-minuet :P ), because when you love yourself and are confident enough to open yourself to others, those shortcomings become your charms. The Shen's family is awesome.

Then I visited Christian in Hawaii on my way back to Taiwan. Christian and I have a history that took care of a whole spectrum of emotions between two people. Some are my best memories and some are not so pleasant, but we've gone through it all and arrived today with a relationship so closed that we think of it as if we grew up together. He says that I'm like his sister, but counting how he feel so comfortable around me to be fighting me, I'm more like his brother. What was most amazing was how he helped me to see myself more clearly simply because how well he knew me. That's what old friends do right? They can talk about your weakness not as something that upsets them but something casual and they can show you how they truly think about you without the rules of polite socialization. This process of seeing yourself through your friends and through an honest mirror, is pretty cool. I had an amazing time on this trip, met some new marine animal friends, saw some crazy fireworks, had many fun nights with Heineken and Corona on the balcony and got to spend time with Christian's family on freaking Coconut Island!

First year at Williams

I just finished my first year in college... Wow. How do I put a year of fast-track learning, inner searching, laughter and precious friendships into words? It is a difficult task but one that brings pleasant memories.
Sage B, its 6pm ding with Alison yelling, "Dinner!!", Montreal and the, yes, strip club, Sunday snacks and the last night of psychiatrist, and the simple fact that all these people I loved were stuck in this entry with me... "Advanced" canoeing and gliding on the lake, the nature's flawless mirror, in a wonderland's fog... My 21st birthday, the night with Joe, Geraldine and Sura (thanks for the chocolate cake shot and passion fruit martini), dinner set up by my entry + the girls and the pea pod... Dave Matthew's Band's concert in NY and being stranded off the highway for 4 hours without gas and heat, 4 girls lying on top of each others in the back, uncontrollable laughing out of despair, and the best hot chocolate that came to our rescue... Italian cooking, the night when Keith and I found Sura chilling in Fay, totally forgotten about the class, and Aroop's neatly chopped smiling chicken... Frosh Quad an the warm, Christmas-like, yellow glow... Madness in Texas... Getting mono, haha... Champagne nights... Exploring with my camera... Greg... My muses... New friends who came in my life, phone calls and letters from old friends who stayed around and showed me love.... I can go on and on. Thanks...